hmo
Please support our new sponsor.


Welcome to the Recovery Man Humor Asylum

Affordable Outpatient Treatment for the Humor Impaired
in a Safe, Supportive and Distinctively Christian Environment


If you have found that your recovery has become a cheerless and relentlessly serious journey, then you have come to the right place. At Recovery Man we understand how damaging "serious" can be and we are here to help! No matter how deep your attachment to pain, we understand because we have been there ourselves. We hope you find the Recovery Man Humor Asylum to be a safe and supportive place to take in small doses of satire, humor and other things that will help you not take yourself so seriously. Enjoy! By the way, if you don't yet have your Recovery Man Secret Decoder Ring, please send $500 in small unmarked bills as soon as possible to Recovery Man Inc., PO Box 215, Brea, CA 92822!

Still unsure about whether the Recovery Man program is right for you? Click here to hear from some people just like you who have benefited from the wonderful resources available here.

FEATURES:

Psycho-Delic R-Man
The R-Man Goes Like Totally Psycho Groovy 1960's Woodstockish. What can this possibly mean?.

Recent R-Man publicity events.
Amazing photos from recent events. Please send us copies of photos from events in your area.

The R. Man Appears in Miracle Cookie!
Amazing new evidence of the importance of Recovery Man to the future of Western Civilization. Doubters stumped. The faithful pray for confirmation in other cookie events.

Pictures from Recovery Man's Recent Tour!
Because of your prayers and faithful financial support, Recovery Man's ministry continues to expand! Here are a few pictures from our most recent speaking tour.

We need your help!
Asking for help is such a basic recovery principle! People ask us for help all the time. We are passing on some of these requests to you. It is good to ask for help.

The Recovery Man Personality Inventory (RMPI)
Confused by Myers-Briggs, Keirsey Temperament sorter, MMPI and Enneagrams? We understand. It can be confusing. Thankfully the staff at the Recovery Man Research Institute have devised a fool-proof on-line inventory to help you in your quest for self knowledge.

The Gratitude Page
Few things are as important in recovery as developing a capacity for gratitude. In support of your recovery in this area we are delighted to be able to present you with this opportunity to exercise gratitude in a practical way.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
As part of our ongoing effort to discourage excessive viewing of TV, we are offering a free online version of this popular show. Hint: you'll need to know quite a bit about this site to win $1,000,000.

Play Therapy for Quality Time with God
Finding it difficult to work your 11th step? Not looking forward to spending time with your higher power? Let the play therapists at the Recovery Man Humor Asylum help you with simple, proven strategies to improve your conscious contact.

The Secrets of Biblical Prophecy Decoded
An important announcement from the Recovery Man Research Institute! Decoding of critical texts now complete! The role of Recovery Man in the End Times now being studied in depth! Don't miss this!

Recovery Man's Romantic Potential Calculator for People in Recovery
Having trouble with your 13th Step work? Finding it difficult to bond in healthy ways during this difficult time in your life? Recovery Man can help! Or at least save you a lot of time by prescreening potential partners so that you can find someone who really matches you.

Could YOU be the Antichrist?
People in recovery tend to think of themselves as bad. Sometimes very bad. But, well, exactly how BAD? Is it possible? Just maybe? You? Why live with this kind uncertainty and fear when you can find out quickly and easily, courtesy of Recovery Man's automatic name-to-number conversion utility (uses ASCII equivalents: a=97, b=98 etc.). If you don't add up to 666, then everything is probably fine. If your name does add up to 666, well, more about that later.

Name to test (e.g. Jo Cool):

The World's First Christian Pornography Archives
A must see! Video clips updated every week from the nudist Bible study held on Tuesday evenings at Our Saviors Church of the Sexually Liberated (currently studying Galatians 2).

Concerned about your privacy?
Does the government have too much personal information about you? Probably so! Take charge of your own information footprint! The R-man can help.

Marital Communication Workshop
Significant other not listening? Maybe you need some new communication skills. Rman to the rescue again!

Recovery Man's Concentrate on the Evangelists Game
Concentrate on the evangelists. . . but watch your wallet! If you have ever sent money to a TV evangelist, please consult your therapist before playing this game.

Dr Relapse's Free On-line Therapy Page
All the help you may ever need. Why pay more? Share your deepest secrets with Dr. Relapse and receive the highest quality professional advice. "Dr Relapse - - where 'Just Say No' is all that really needs to be said."

Electro Convulsive Hypnosis (ECH) Therapy
Another powerful alternative to all the hard work of recovery brought to you Free of charge by the hard working and dedicated staff here at Recovery Man Humor Archives.

Precious Hymns of Denial
A musical tribute to dysfunction from Recovery Man's vast archives of Christian music.

Misc Stuff

OFF SITE GOODIES RECOMMENDED BY RECOVERY MAN:

Sheep and Goats Help God Seperate the Sheep from the Goats.

Codependency Training Program Not quite sick and tired of being sick and tired? Here's a safe way to build your codependency skills online.

Lip Balm Anonymous Our primary purpose is to stay free from lip balm and to help others achieve the same freedom.

The Fruitcake Zone An astonishing collection of seriously wacko Christian stuff. Part of the Ship of Fools site.

Small Miracles Dept.
Before recovery people pray for BIG miracles. "Lord, fix my spouse so that I won't be so miserable" or "Lord, heal my alcoholism so that I can keep drinking." But in recovery we find that smaller miracles make all the difference. In tribute of smaller miracles Recovery Man recommends the following remarkable sites:
Miracle of the Winking Jesus
The Nun Bun Miracle



This web page is
printed with 100%
simulated recycled paper.
Rman's Quote of the Moment:

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

recovery_man

Help us keep the internet
safe for our children!

Cyberspace can be a dangerous place and our children need protection! Unfortunately, other providers of blocking and filtering software have completely ignored the rapidly increasing number of SWC (Seriously Wacko Christian) websites. These sites can have a devestating impact on the spiritual development of our children. The good news is that the Recovery Man Research Institute has vowed to take this threat seriously and has begun to compile a database of sites to which are children should not be exposed. To be successful, we need your help. Please look over the current list of SWC sites and send us additional suggestions.

View current list of SWC websites

Disclaimer:

This is humor folks. Seriously. Satire and stuff like that. If you can't find something offensive on this page or on sites connected to this page, you might think about cutting down on those medications a bit. For the full disclaimer go here

Complaint Process:

Because of the high volume of complaints we receive about this page we have instituted the following three step complaint process:
Step 1. Clarify Your Complaint
If you are not sure what to complain about, you can use our automatic complaint generator . If the first complaint displayed does not match your concerns, refresh/reload your browser and a new complaint will be generated. Continue until you find a complaint that matches your concerns. It is our hope that many of your concerns will be reduced as you go through this process of clarification. Sometimes Recovery Man receives complaints that are actually projections of childhood trauma or just examples of the plain old stinkin 'thinkin which is so common in addictions. The process of clarification can sort out many of these concerns and no further action will be needed. If this page does not seem funny to you it is also possible that your browser does not have the appropriate plugins installed. Please click here to install needed plugins.
Step 2. Request an Apology
Since many complaints have already been made we have prepared a convenient way for you to request an apology for common faults at this site. In situations of this kind please use our Apology Request Form
Step 3. Management Escalation
If the process of clarification and our sincere apology have not met your needs, please feel free, as a last resort, to email Recovery Man at: reecoovreerry_mannn@christianrecovery.com.
If your complaint has sufficient merit we will add it to our actual complaints from real people page. Before you take these complaints too seriously, however, you should - in all fairness - read our actual reports of miracles page.

TRANSLATION UTILITY
Having a difficult time understanding this page? Maybe it would help to read in translation:

 

Our thanks to the folks at Rinkworks for the translations.


Got any ideas about cool stuff to add to this page?
Send em to Recovery Man

recommend

Would you like to link to this page?
Here's how to do it.

If you are looking for non-silly resources for recovery, please see the resources available at
Christian Recovery International
and it's affiliated web sites: